The Big Bad Galaxy….

This afternoon’s update, ladies and gentlemen is about the big bad galaxy out there, those people you meet whilst travelling and trading and what to expect…..

As you know, all of you in this briefing room have paid Frontier to come and join in the testing of their new systems, jump drives, weapons, comms and flight models.

Some of you have traded in your ancient Cobra with outdated wireframe viewscreens instead of canopies, some spent years in an Imperial Courier with updated vision engines and others are fresh from planetside with no prior time in space.

You’re familiar with the galactic politics – some worlds are aligned with the Federation, others with the Empire and yet more are Independent. There are systems out there as of yet, undiscovered…..

Some systems are Anarchic places where you won’y get a fine or a bounty put on your ship, not even for mooning other vessels out of the cockpit.

Others are run by large corporations and have a pseudo-effective police force who will scan you regularly for anything bad you’ve done – that includes “having an awful haircut”, “flying wearing crocs” and “drinking girlie drinks on any day with a Y in it”. They will then, regardless of anyone filming it, proceed to pull out their batons and unleash fifteen kinds of police brutality on you.

Some are communist states, which means that the officials are all rich, the population are poor and downtrodden and the colour red is very popular indeed.

What you’ll see is that there are two types of pilot out there. The core testing crew that make up the contents of this room are Pilot’s Federation members, many others out there are New Pilot’s Confereration (or some other such nomenclature) jockeys. They are not paying to be here, they are PAID to be here.

First things first.

Space is Dangerous

The ships out there have guns. Big guns. There are shields. There are targeting computers. They are there for a reason.

They’re there because most of the people you’ll meet are antisocial, dedicated sociopaths. They’re there to smash your toys, steal your stuff and shout “YARRR” a lot whilst doing it.

Some of them are courteous – they will back away from a docking entrance as you fly out in your Lakon, give you a flash and a wing waggle (stop giggling at the back…) and help you if you get dropped on from a great height by something with beam lasers.

Others will only bash you if you’re doing something bad. That includes the police, NPC’s in Eagles and of course, in the name of testing, other people in this room.

Before I go any further – in response to the t-shirts and heated arguments I hear in the station bar. The word “grief”. It’s relevant to your dog dying, losing your grandma, possibly the feeling you get when you crash your old earth motorcar into the scenery just after rebuilding it. If you’re married, it might be an adequate description of what you get from the other half when you get home late at night blind drunk and take a pee in the wardrobe. It has nothing whatsoever to do with flying in space.

If you go to an Anarchy and lurk around the station – people will shoot you. If you go back a second time, it will happen again.

If you pick up cargo that isn’t yours – people will shoot you.

If you pick up a bounty and get scanned going into the station – the station will shoot you.

If you look funny and fly funny – people will shoot you. Probably repeatedly.

If you even look slightly sideways at an official vessel – they will shoot you. With extreme prejudice.

If you’re flying your shiny new Lakon into a station – someone will ram you. If you didn’t pay attention to the briefings about making sure you had insurance cash, I won’t have any sympathy.

If you scan someone to see what they’re carrying – they will shoot you.

If you shoot someone – they will shoot you.

If you get interdicted and hang around for a few seconds – someone will shoot you.

If you hang around in the station for too long without permission – the station will shoot you and then small ships will sweep up the pieces and put them into a compactor. They might even giggle whilst doing it.

Are we getting the theme here?

It will happen. There is absolutely no doubt about it. When it does, you have a few options:

1. Fight back
2. Run away
3. Don’t go there in the first place – go somewhere else
4. Join some of the other testing pilots and fly together. You’ll either be a herd and the weakest one will get picked off (herd mentality) or you’ll tough it out (pack mentality)
5. Go to your ship’s systems and mark your Ident chip such that the ship systems of other vessels can’t engage with you (this is to be considered very antisocial, but a great way of testing quite how quickly you can get to an Anaconda). Please note that this only renders you invisible to other testers – not the paid pilots out there who will STILL perform the multicannon meringue on your hull.

There is one thing that has absolutely no place in this briefing room, or this station and that’s moaning about it. By all means cry on someone’s shoulder about the lost Lakon. Go to the bar for a mutual back slapping session and some alcohol. Come here and get some more training in how to be a little less Harmless and a little more Deadly.

On a final note – don’t get attached to your ship or your money. We are testing on behalf of Frontier Developments and we’ve paid handsomely for the privilege. They control the markets, the ships, the banks in this area of space and everything in between.

When they deem that they want us to test something new, they’ll bust us all back to a Sidewinder and take away all of our virtual credits. It’s monopoly money. Toy money. It’s a simulation of the rest of the galaxy.

Now. Go fly.

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